I was talking to a buddy of mine today on how weird it has felt to be on a long vacation from the jewelry store. In the last 6 years since I opened, I haven’t really been on trip longer than a couple of days. So needless to say… 10 days later I am ready to be back at work.Anyway back to the conversation:He said that it really isn’t that weird for me to be worried because I have given my whole life to that place.This statement however well intended, made me reflect because no one has ever said that to me if i missed a Sunday at church or was “taking a break” from the ministry. Now I am not saying that that is bad to do… Everyone needs a break every now & then. But when I took a break it was because I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing. It was a job to me, not a Mission! God has asked us to Follow him for one reason, to build His kingdom. I want to give Him my entire life, not just the small stuff that I ask Him for while i’m praying. He already knows about all that. He wants everything! I know there are things that I haven’t given to Him yet, things that He and I both know I need to work on, but the awesome thing about that is that He’s not going to give up, He’s not going anywhere! He is waiting for me to realize that once i do give Him everything, I will want for nothing!The reason for the title of the blog is this: I have been struggling lately on what I am supposed to do. Why am I here? What does God want from me. I guess a lot of this is because I am turning 30 in just over a year… But a lot of this has to do with my relationship with God. The God that until 9 months ago I didn’t realize just how powerful He was. The God that isn’t just about getting emotional during a powerful song or an invitation at church. The God that alloys me to call Him Father. The God that expects me to live everyday for Him and SHOW His love. The God that doesn’t just want me to stand in church, bow my head and close my eyes…He wants me to go into my room and shut my door!Don’t get me wrong, I feel that it is important to have times at church to give your life. I am one of those children that did. I am just struggling with the guilt that it is associated with. The guilt that says… if you don’t say a prayer you’re gonna go to Hell. I want someone to see the Love of God in me and ask me how they can get that. It’s not all about how many people get saved in a Sunday morning invitation, and then go to lunch… it’s about how many people give their entire life to the God that has invited them to FOLLOW!
