prayer

I read this poem the other day by Mary Oliver, it is entitled… “Praying”……………………… It doesn’t have to be the blue iris, it could be weeds in a vacant lot, or a few small stones; just pay attention, then patch a few words together and don’t try to make them elaborate, this isn’t a contest but the doorway into thanks, and a silence in which another voice may speak. 

blue christmas

I have been in this surreal funky mood the last couple of days. It all started on my birthday. I think it’s because now it’s Christmas time. It always kinda started after my birthday. You know being an only child, even Jesus’ birthday was after mine…LOL  Anyway, I have been emotional lately about this being my last christmas at the jewelry store. I find myself just sitting back and watching everyone in the hustle and bustle and taking it all in trying not to miss one minute, the feeling of being so tired you want to take a nap and still smiling at every person that walks through the door, the smell of Christmas candles and hearing the same songs playing over and over all day long, the stress of making sure all the orders are in and the repairs finished on time… I guess i’m being selfish and don’t want to let it go yet. I knew this was coming and have been trying not to think about it but here it is! Since my grandmother passed away, we haven’t had any Christmas traditions. We used to all get together at her house on Christmas day for breakfast, I can still see my uncle spooky cooking the eggs in her kitchen and opening presents in the rumpus room downstairs at that huge table that sat 40 people. But I realized today that we still have a tradition that has always been there, it’s the jewelry store. It’s not just a job, it’s a living breathing family member, a tradition, a way of life to me… We are together for the whole Christmas season. Not just 1 day. That’s why I’m sad, my last tradition is going to be gone, But the cool thing is I know I am doing what God wants me to do and I am going to be an unworthy servant and do it. Not thinking about what I am going to miss and what I am giving up, but what He is preparing and what He gave up for me.  When I get sad, i guess i’ll just have to think about porky pig instead of elvis…

aging

i’m old…that’s it!